Some of my students are great. Working in a school is just like working in an office: there are some people with whom you will strike an easy rhythm and have an enjoyable time; some people will drive you up the wall. Of course I have a healthy mix of both.
Many Japanese women fit the shy stereotype that tv and movies have led us to expect, though the younger generations are exhibiting this less and less. One of the students, in particular, I find simply intolerable. Her English is for crap and her laugh is a nauseating high-pitched twitter she unleashes without the slightest provocation.
There are several bookshelves right outside my classroom. When she walked in for the first time she started up with her laugh, she wouldn't look anywhere near me and, I kid you not, moved hand to hand and foot to foot as if the only way to enter my classroom were to shuffle across the ledge of the 40th story of a Manhattan high rise. Most students lose the majority of their qualms after the first lesson. She scaled her way back into the second. To top it off, she's 30-something, unmarried, lives off her parents, thinks laughing is a permissible response to any English question, and is in serious need of a punch to the bracket.
Some of my students with whom I'm willing to hang out with ask me how my classes are, so I give them an honest answer.
- Oh, you know, some are a lot of fun, some are pretty tough, mostly because it's hard to teach the students who don't really want to learn or don't have any goals.
- [Is that so?] (Often they reply in Japanese... it's sort of like a conversation between Han Solo and Chewbacca, except I occasionally throw in some Wookie of my own)
- ...but your class is by far the worst.
- [You're lying!] (shock and exasperation painted across the face)
- No, I really can't stand it.
- [Really?!]
- No... no, not really.
- [Thank god! (~close approximation)] (huge sigh of relief)
It's as if the sarcasm ship docked right outside of Himeji and I'm the first person to offload any of the cargo. You know the overdone "look over there" routine you see in many movies (the better of which follow it up with a swift kick to the groin)? Some of my students fall for that.
I could probably play "got your nose" with them all day if someone hadn't already taken them all. Hello, yes, Hell Airlines? I'd prefer an aisle seat, preferably in hand-basket class.
Some days, I get called "Prince Andrew" by a 70-year-old woman in that creepy tv-grandma sort of way where she waves and smiles a coy little smile as she walks out the door, face last, to the "Ooooooo" of the live audience followed immediately by laughter. This particular student wants only to talk about her late husband (of 30 years) and her medical problems. She met him when she was 13. He was 23 at the time. Most of her days she spends at home, writing poetry about him and she insists he's constantly perched behind her shoulder. She is a walking cry for attention.
I have another student who's a Jehovah's witness. We haven't started talking about religion yet (it's coming, I've been plenty warned of that), but at the end of the last class she said, "I hear you like animals." This comes as no surprise because I showed her pictures from my Galapagos trip the week prior. "I thought you might like to look at this," she said, handing me a pamphlet with some brightly colored animals entitled something or other about Creation. "I'm sorry, did you mistaken me for a weak-minded fool who will succumb to your laughable religious arguments? I speak some Wookie, damn it! This one's strong with the force!"
One of my advanced students is a very nice woman in her mid-fifties who I enjoy talking with in spite of (or maybe because of) her very strange ideas. We were discussing the judicial system and politics and how a politician might want to try a convicted criminal with a life sentence in his own jurisdiction for attention and political gain. "I don't understand American politics." I read the Japanese paper every day. Every day I read stories about scandal and corruption. She's not so much wearing blinders as she just has her own hands over her eyes. "Child abuse came from America." I'm sorry, what?! "The term 'child abuse' may have originated or identified in America, I don't know, but child abuse has been happening for thousands of years all across the world."
And then Nao, one of my students (with a car) that I hang out with frequently, is a riot. Yesterday after a very satisfying meal of yakiniku, I slumped down in my seat, eyes droopy, content as all could be. "You look like stupid," she said. I laughed for a good five minutes, assuring her it wasn't at her expense and that I understood what she was saying, but that the grammar was slightly askew. I dutifully explained "you look adjective" or "you look like a/an [noun]" and she took it in stride. It goes both ways though, as she frequently laughs at my Japanese, but for the other reason -- my Japanese sometimes sounds like native Japanese. This makes for an annoying predicament, as sometimes they'll forget I don't speak the language and they'll go on and on and I won't have a clue. Family Guy illustrated this best:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TklFxYN44CU
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6 comments:
haha you look like stupid! if your students come up with phrases like that frequently (or not), you should make a list of them -- then you'll always have a ready-made laugh!
Your writing is so expressive and so funny. I don't know how you do it ... must have something to do with talent! ... Really interesting about the role/non-role of sarcasm. I wonder if this is a national thing, a cultural thing, or something else. (I'll bet Ph.D. theses have been written about this phenomenon -- but I'm not going to check.) ... Impressive that your Japanese sometimes sounds native. Good ear!! ... The clip from Family Guy is great -- and puts your experience in perspective really well (and funnily)!
I just wonder who Stupid is. I mean, there are lots of good lookin stupid people. Maybe she was telling you you looked hot in a male-model-with-no-brain sort of way?
OK, maybe not. But your post was a riot.
"You look like ... geh!" Try explaining that one to your students.
By the way I forgot to tell you that we watched a couple of the godfather movies and DeNiro was kind of hot when he was younger.
VERY funny! What did she really mean to say - "like stupid"? If she meant just stupid, then is she being deliberately rude or is that her sense of "humor" or is that an acceptable comment to make in Japanese culture?
Glad your Japanese is moving forward. Have you learned their curse words yet?
Re child abuse: it might be interesting to discuss spousal abuse, too. Is their English good enough to handle such a topic? THe whole issue of how American men treat women compared to how Japanese men do might lead to humorous talk.
Very funny blog- one laugh after another....Is it impolite to be sarcastic in Japan?... Your grasp of the language must be really imroving if you sound like a native. Guess all that studying is paying off!
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