There's an oft-used expression I've found to be regularly appropriate here, one that can be exercised in most every situation one might encounter during one's daily routine: "Japan is fucking crazy." Actually, it's a local expression, so I wouldn't be surprised if you've never heard it before. Actually, it's really local, generally only expressed by myself when I'm ironing my underwear.
I iron my underwear. I iron my socks, bedsheets, and everything under the sun (ha). I have to dry my clothes on a clothesline outside on my balcony and you never know what kind of bugs might've decided to take a siesta in a comfortable 85% cotton, 15% polyester. And you certainly don't want to find out halfway into a 2-hour class when the bugs wake up and explore their new surroundings. So my theory is that the iron kills bugs and I'm sticking to it, if only to placate any insect related anxieties.
In a country where phones can do everything from send videos to pay for train tickets (and, if you can believe it, make regular calls), where the forefront of robotics is ushering in a new age of convenience, where cars are parked in giant automated towers to take advantage of the tiny spaces between buildings, I find convenience lacking. I have no dryer. I have no garbage disposal. I have neither oven nor central air. When I want to use my stove, I have to switch on the gas. When I want to use my bath or washing machine, I have to switch on the hot water. Japan, I say, is fucking crazy.
The other day I went to an imported goods store that's called, you'll never guess, Japan. Best I can tell, most of the goods are imported from Osaka (an hour or so away). The store carries everything from electronics to dried goods. It has candy and it has tupperware. It has beer and it has children's toys. In the same aisle. Yes, right across from the Kirin and Sapporo (types of Japanese beer) you can find the latest model of Power Ranger and Transformer and whatever the kids are playing with these days. Maybe Japan has it right, not sheltering their children from adult vices, exposing them to alcohol and building a safe and healthy understanding from their youth. You can, after all, buy beer at many streetside vending machines. So maybe Japan has taken a logical and sensible approach. Or maybe Japan is fucking crazy.
My walk to work takes about 10 minutes and it's a straight shot down one road (which is good, because few streets have names). I have to cross several intersections, about half of which have pedestrian crossing signals. By the time I leave work, it's around 9:15, and the roads are usually fairly empty. And yet, if there's not a car in sight and the crossing signal is red, almost all Japanese people will wait. They will wait until it changes, few daring to anticipate the switch and start moving prematurely. The two or three times I've ventured to cross against the light, the locals looked at me as if I had just dropped my pants and started to urinate in the middle of the road (which, I'm told, is perfectly legal, though I'm not fully confident in my source). So now I only cross against the light when I'm in an extreme rush or when there's no one else around. After all, I don't want to risk offending a local who is almost assuredly Japanese, and, consequently, fucking crazy.
I spoke to one of my students about religion and tradition the other day. Many Japanese go to church to get married, practice Buddhist rituals during funerals, and perform a slew of other religious-inspired traditions. "Do you know anything about Buddhism?" Nope. "How about Shinto?" Not really. "That doesn't seem weird to you?" Of course not, because she grew up with it. I suppose that makes sense. She also told me she loves Korean food and tv, but hates Koreans. The Japanese, she says, are very superficial. The way I see it, however, the Japanese are very fucking crazy.
I study pretty much every day. I rarely watch tv (I can't understand it) and I've given up on reading in favor of force-feeding myself vocabulary in my spare moments. I am driven to learn the language. Whether or not that's feasible, I have no idea, but language aside, I don't think I will ever understand the people. After all, Japan is fucking crazy.
7 comments:
Very interesting theme! Sort of ties in with the Fukyo company sign from your first post. Maybe they agree with you :-)) ... if they are looking for a new CEO, you're their man-san. ... [In some countries they have branches of KFC. You have now discovered JFC!]
So do *most* apartments and homes not have clothes dryers ... or is your landlord just being cheap? ... How long does it take for the hot water to come up when you switch on the bath or washing machine?
And what is "Little African's World"?
Japan isn't the only place where you have to switch on the hot water before hitting the tub. There are places in Europe where we used a match to ignite the gas heater in order to get hot water. Of course, this was years ago, but I think your sister had this experience more recently.
Have any of your solid clothes become prints yet after ironing?
ly-m
it's true! gas heater? still used. and if it's any consolation, in many respects, spain and italy are fucking crazy, too. in spain, they dress like they're stuck in the 1980's and look at you funny if all you ate for lunch was a sandwich. in italy, they wear denim head to toe, donned with mullets and italian accents. but then again, isn't every country fucking crazy in its own way?
If there were a bug in your underwear, wouldn't ironing it just make it flat and shiny, like the Ocean City t-shirt decals?
What the f--- are you doing in a place where you have to iron your clothes to prevent unwelcome visits by critters into places best left unvisited, by critters?
Believe it or not, when we were kids in Brooklyn (before your Mom was born), if too many of us took long showers we would run out of hot water and would have to turn it on again for the next person. It didn't happen very often, but I remember to this day exactly where the switch was.
ooh, Ellie said "f---"!!!
...
I think Missy is right - every country has its peculiarities ... including the US. It's just that, growing up here, we think what goes on here is "normal." It should be very interesting to learn what passes as normal elsewhere.
1) Aunt Ellie said f---, Aunt Ellie said f---! Where does she think she is, back onstage?
2) Believe it or not, when we were kids, back at home, when Andrew took a shower, we would have to wait a while for the hot water to come back. And there was no switch!!
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